Inner Loser

I think it is Pika who describes the nagging voice from within, her 'Inner Loser.' Here is the convo we had today:

7am-
Inner Loser (IL): Let's just sleep in.
Me: OK, I'll run tonight
Inner Loser: That is unless you just want to skip today and run tomorrow
Me: No, that is how I got in trouble in the past

2pm at a birthday bbq:
IL: Maybe this should just be your free meal for the week
Me: Yeah, but let's keep it reasonable
IL: Just eat what you want, skip your exercise, and call it a screw up day
Me: No, I don't want to screw up. I will feel like crap.

6pm, leaving the party-
IL: Whew. I am tired. Let's go home and go to bed.
Me: No, I still haven't exercised.
IL: Bed. Run tomorrow
Me: Running tomorrow will screw up my schedule for the week. I want to sleep in tomorrow and have a rest day.
IL: Fine. But I am not cooperating.

6:30pm:
Me: I am proud of myself for running
IL: Yeah, whatever. Maybe you should just walk most the way and run lightly
Me: But I know I can run more than 1/4 mile.
IL: You are stubborn.
Me: Wow, I haven't called myself that in a long time when it comes to refusing to quit.
...

Isn't it funny the conversations we have with ourselves? I am constantly fighting that inner loser. I ended up wtih a decent run tonight. I ran 3/4 of the 2 miles I did. I was going to do 3, but the back of my calves were in SO much pain that I didn't think I could even walk the last mile.

Truthfully, the pain is scaring me. I have no idea what is going on. It ALMOST feels like shin splints, but in the back of my calves. I strongly suspect it is something to do with my compartment syndrome or the surgery for it 6 months ago. I have my pre-op appointment on Friday with my surgeon, so I can tell him about it then. I just hope I can pump out a good week. Thursday I am going for the 2 miles without stopping!

Tomorrow will be a COMPLETE rest day. I might take a slow walk, but not brisk. I hope I am good to go for Monday. It is vitamin-M and ice tonight.

Oh, and at the party I was good. I took one of what I wanted, and didn't have seconds. I also didn't finish eating anything on my plate that I didn't love the taste of. Usually I would eat it reguardless. I have no idea how many calories I had today, but I would guess only around 1750 MAX.

Saturday- Day 12
------------------
2 mile run/walk