*VENTING*

Do you ever have those days where everything just seems wrong? Well, today is my day for that. Fair warning, this post will probably be full of whining, self pity and foul language.

I think I felt all this coming, and Eric's news yesterday just sent me over the edge. He is being sent to a school in April. It just so happens that he will be missing ANOTHER Easter with the kids, his 2nd in a row. I believe it is the 4th Easter of Andy's 7 years he has missed. Andy is getting to the age where any year could be his last as far as believing in the Easter Bunny goes. This sucks.

I was wrong in assuming that now that Eric is on 'shore duty,' we'd catch a break. Of all the 10 day periods, why the fuck did they have to schedule it over Easter? I can deal with him leaving, but why must they send him over Easter? Just a couple days ago, we were discussing how it will be hard to make the decision for Eric to retire at 20 years. Shit like this makes that decision a lot easier.

Bitching about that makes me even more depressed. I know it could be so much worse. He could be in the Army, serving another 15 month tour in Iraq. He could be deployed to Afghanistan while I am having serious medical problems. I hate bitching about such small things in comparison. It makes me feel guilty for feeling upset. Someone always has it worse, when it comes to the military.

Weight. I was SO good this last week, except for one day. I totally thought I'd lost more than ONE FRICKEN POUND. I am sick of it. I hate thinking about it 24/7.

The house. It is a fricken wreck. I'd clean it, but why? It will just look like this again in a day. I am sick of the never ending laundry. Why can't the boys use their bath towels more than once? Why must they pull out clean clothes and throw them on the floor so that I can't tell which are clean and which are dirty? Why can't the boys and my husband turn their socks so they are not inside out before they throw them in the laundry? Why can't the dog stop shedding? Why can't the floor vacuum itself? Why does there have to be dirt outside that gets tracked inside? Why can't boys/men get their piss IN the toilet and not on the seat or the floor? You get the point...

Most of all, I hate that I feel like it is MY JOB to clean the house. I don't want to. That is not my choice of employment. I miss working. Days like today, I feel trapped by the military. I don't work because things like Eric's trip, days off school, and the kid's doctor appointments get in the way. Civilian couple can split that kind of stuff 50/50. If a kid is sick, IIIIII am the one who would have to stay home. It would always be MY JOB taking the hit for such things. That, and it's nice when Eric takes leave or when family visits, we don't have to worry about coordinating it with my job.

Painting class. I paid a good amount of money for it. Yes I am having fun and have learned a few things. Why can't the professor spend a little more time teaching, and less time in her office? I took the class to learn from her, not to figure things out for myself.

I am just in a rut. I need to find a way out!

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Ok, now some positive things.

Our first soccer game was on Sunday. It was the first time Eric had ever played! He seemed a little lost on where to go, but he did really well! It helps that he is fast and doesn't give up. I did pretty well, but I'll just call it luck with a little skill tossed in...LOL! I scored two of our three goals. It is a co-ed league, and if a girl scores, it is worth 2 points instead of 1. We won the game 5-3, I believe. I have been pretty damn sore since Monday. Damn, I am out of shape...LOL!

My Dad is coming to visit! I can't tell you how excited I am about that. It's been about 5 years since he has visited US last. He came to visit when we were in Pensacola, but didn't come to see us in Guam. (Flights too long and too expensive!) A couple days after he gets here, we are going to drive down to San Antonio to see my sister for a few days. I can't wait to get out of the house for a few days and hide from the laundry.

I just completed WEEK 5, RUN 1 of the C25k. I think I am going to start tweaking the schedule a bit after the next run. I am not ready for a 20min non-stop run when the longest stint I have done this far is 5 minutes at a time!

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Alright, that is it for now. I am sure I will have more to add onto this later. It's not going to be a good day. LOL